Running for the Hills

This last week has been very trying for me. I literally want to rip off Andrew’s head.
He can not do anything right. He is breathing the same air as me. He is in my way all the time. He is constantly trying to finish something I have already started. He is smothering me.

Not only that, I am finally fed up him not being accountable for anything. Not being the man of the household and ensuring a safe and secure place for us to be. Instead, he tells me everything will be ok and wipes off my tears and goes on. Only to find out later, he pushed everything under the rug and shoved me off.

I am the one that has to follow-up on everything. Make sure all is well and taken care of. In the past, I suppose I enjoyed that role. It had its high points. I was ultimately the one in charge. I knew what was going on, when and where, never oblivious the anything. I told him to fetch and then I was there to make sure he retrieved. I would say it had its high points. Giggle.

However, I have changed and evolved and so have my wants and needs. For some time now, I have wanted him to take on a more controlling role in the marriage. Equal parts I shiver to say. Giggle. He pays the bills, and is in control of the vehicles, and does stuff around the house, but that is not my issue.

I fear he is completely incompetent in carrying out a fair and equal marriage that does not include jealously and judgment; second guessing, sneaking, snooping and lying.

This weekend tested my patience with him and I am at my wits end.

Do I kill him and bury him or run for the hills on the 50 cents and smidgen of dignity I still have?