My slice of heaven

I am 3 months into this mother thing and can honestly say I love it. Not that I have a choice, but it is nice to enjoy it finally. The first 3 weeks I wasn’t so sure. I'm not really sure what life used to be like before all this. I do recall having had a lot of free time, down time, me time, long hot shower time, sleep time, shopping time, money to go and do as I please, time, etc.; that is nonexistent now. Now I have Donovan time. But with that comes so much more in return. Now I have this little person, looking up at me, that depends on me 100%. At first I was very overwhelmed with the responsibility. The 24/7 care was a lot to take in. But now 3 months into it, and I haven't lost, dropped and killed him; I'm ok with this mom stuff. The guess work still seems overwhelming...what he needs, why is he crying, am I overfeeding, underfeeding, can I use baby powder yet, why is he barfing so much, am I holding him too much, do I let him cry, how do you care for an umbilical cord, does a vaporizer cause pneumonia, can I really pull his arm out of the socket when picking him up, will he catch a cold if he doesn’t wear socks, will he get an ear infection from the wind, what temperature should his bath water be, and on and on………. The unknowing never seems to end.

Now that we are over the 'newborn' hump, it seems to be very gratifying and enjoyable. I even enjoy my one on one time with the 11pm, 2am and 5am feedings. When he looks at me I realize he trusts me. That is a feeling I can not describe with words. I am still very much in shock of the whole thing. Aside from the fact that I am a mom and have this child to raise, I can not wrap my head around the miracle of pregnancy, child birth, and how it starts from nothing and ends up a 10lb human coming out. Simply amazing! I will never go through it again, EVER, for love or money, but enough time has passed now, that I appreciate it.

Just as I am getting into a routine, he is changing. His feeding time is beginning to spread out a little. He is going to start rice cereal in 3 weeks and that will change how he eats, sleeps and poops. He will be rolling over in the next 3 weeks so I can no longer leave him on the changing table and walk away. Soon he wont fit in the infant bath tub and I will have to move him to the real bathtub. He is almost at the weight maximum for his infant car seat. When he switches to the big boy car seat, I will no longer be able to carry him in the car seat and sit it on the grocery cart. I will have to carry him, and he will be sitting up in the cart himself. WOW...So many things.

I have to say that I am overjoyed with all of the ‘first’s’. As adults we don’t have very many ‘first’s’ anymore. I’ve already had first car, first home, first job, first letdown, first everything. Now the first times I am having are more exciting. The first time he recognized me and realized I am his mom, first bath, first grin, first sickness, first shots, first rectal temperature, first coo, first laugh, first blue jeans, first shoes………..

I expect life to just keep getting better. Can't wait for the next first. He really is a little slice of Heaven.

*Thank you to everyone that has stood by me during this time. It was hard for me to find my place. Accept that this is my place. And actually enjoy this place I am in. I love you all!!