catching up

I know it has been a while since my last post. I was just not feeling it, or anything else for that matter. Here’s to getting back on stage!

As of November 14th, I am back on my crazy pills, only after my douche bag (pardon my French) doctor put me and everyone else through 5 weeks of drying out HELL. And might I add, he put me back on the EXACT SAME ONE he took me off of. So, to all of you who had to endure the excruciating pain; I commend you and owe you a very large bottle of anything you choose for standing by me with patience and perseverance.

So we shall see the normal, not so normal, regularly irregular Nicole come around the corner any day now.

Now starting off from where I dropped the ball.

October 28th was Taz’s 7th birthday. I remembered the day before and the day after. Wow, my mom even brought him a gift. I have never forgotten. I made it up to him though.

November 5th Vjollca came back to work. Finally someone to talk to besides Mark. Thank you JC! Giggle!!! Anyone that knows Mark knows when it is safe to speak to him and when it isn’t. Monday through Wednesday are off limits completely. ‘nuff said.

November 14th Prozac!!!! Taken every other day for one week then full throttle for 3 weeks. Then back to Dr. Douche’. hehe

November 15th and 16th I took off work. Thursday I cleaned house, but Friday it was me and my sis all day. From 9am to 9pm we hung out. It was a BLAST. We always joke that when we get together we might make up one brain. It is so true. We are just plain goofy and laugh way too much. Not.

We ate breakfast and enjoyed a good cup o’ Joe. Then off to the bead store where overload ensued. Sis needed a valium. giggle. After 2 hours and $100, we headed to paint. Woohoo! We carefully picked out our projects and began our masterpieces. 3 ½ hours later and no lunch, we headed to my house for hardware, then back to her house to begin our bead creations. But not without grabbing my nieces and nephew and a pizza on the way.

November 17th I was back at my sis's to help her make cakes for my neice's cheerleading party. We had to make 9 cakes and decorate them. Now that was fun. Hanging out and drinking coffee while baking. * No taste testing please, boys.

Then it was 3:30 and my oldest neice got home from shopping with her other Aunt(She only has a few) and was ready to get ready. She had a date to the Blue October concert and one hour to prepare. She was about to wet her pants. Honestly, so was I. She and her Aunt ran to the back of the house and began applying makeup, chi irons, hair stuff and clothes. They came back and we told me with no uncertainty, "MORE". They took off and came back. She was gorgeous as always and ready to set the night on fire.

We loaded up in their very manly FORD LARIAT, 4x4, F150, STEPSIDE, 4DOOR, BLAH BLAH, and took off. giggle. I can't even get in it. (sis said she would get me a step ladder) Only after I had spoken to this boy that thought he was privileged enough to take out my neice did I tell sis where we were going. Once I had him convinced he would die if he so much as breathed the same air as her did we drop her off, get his cell phone and license plate, kiss her, and head back home.

I have to admit, I did not sleep a wink that night.

November 18th was my real Thanksgiving. 34 of us, friends and family, gathered around for a feast of sharing. We told stories and caught up on happenings. It was nice to see everyone. I really miss some of our friends that we only see for ‘get-together’s ’.

November 22nd and 23rd He and I spent the day with mom. We went to Luby’s for a quick lunch then back to her house for the game(s). Mom and I did a puzzle and yes, finished it.
We made turkey sandwiches and played literal mind games from a book she has. I played with my two-faced, miniature schnauzer she kept during the separation.

November 24th we let mom be and stayed home. We rented movies and relaxed. Found that we had babies. Fish, that is. So we made a trip to Petsmart, and home again. Everyone is healthy and happy. All fins accounted for, for day.

November 25th we ran to Lucy’s and I watched cable, giggle, while He attempted surgery on her washer. We went grocery shopping and I cooked the rest of the evening. Dessert and all. Must be the cool weather. Not. I say the drugs. Praise JC.

Now this week Mark is on vaca and I am in a heap of shit. I am busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. No offense to the handicapped. In fact, call me; I will kick someone’s ass for you. Merry Christmas. Happy Hannakah. Feliz Navidad. Mazel Taf.

I am off Thursday and Friday. I will be taking my mom out for her birthday. WOOHOO!
I love that lady and am damn glad to still have her in my life! XOXO MOM!

Cheers to my sis for taking time to spend with me the week before. It meant a lot sis!

And Luce! Sunday was a BLAST. Giggle!

Running for the Hills

This last week has been very trying for me. I literally want to rip off Andrew’s head.
He can not do anything right. He is breathing the same air as me. He is in my way all the time. He is constantly trying to finish something I have already started. He is smothering me.

Not only that, I am finally fed up him not being accountable for anything. Not being the man of the household and ensuring a safe and secure place for us to be. Instead, he tells me everything will be ok and wipes off my tears and goes on. Only to find out later, he pushed everything under the rug and shoved me off.

I am the one that has to follow-up on everything. Make sure all is well and taken care of. In the past, I suppose I enjoyed that role. It had its high points. I was ultimately the one in charge. I knew what was going on, when and where, never oblivious the anything. I told him to fetch and then I was there to make sure he retrieved. I would say it had its high points. Giggle.

However, I have changed and evolved and so have my wants and needs. For some time now, I have wanted him to take on a more controlling role in the marriage. Equal parts I shiver to say. Giggle. He pays the bills, and is in control of the vehicles, and does stuff around the house, but that is not my issue.

I fear he is completely incompetent in carrying out a fair and equal marriage that does not include jealously and judgment; second guessing, sneaking, snooping and lying.

This weekend tested my patience with him and I am at my wits end.

Do I kill him and bury him or run for the hills on the 50 cents and smidgen of dignity I still have?