This mom stuff is hardwork.
There is never a single moment that my mind can shutdown and take a break.
Never a moment that my ears can close and my brain can rest.
Not a time to catch up, reflect, rejuvenate.
No time for me.
Since the birth of my son, I have spent every moment on overload. The pressure I envoke on myself is unbelievable. I recognize it, yet I can not control it.
Constantly worrying: if, where, when, how, why, what....
Always trying to cover every basis: breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, diapers, laundry, naps, is he hot, cold, runny nose, safety....
Forever trying to figure out: why is he crying, what happened, how can I get him to sleep through the night, is this fever ER worthy, is that poop normal, when did he poop last, is there mold in the vents he is breathing, will a mosquito bite kill him, can he get lime disease, is he allergic to pets...
Never knowing: if I am doing a good enough job, if he will be a well centered child, if I am protecting him enough or overprotecting him, if I am feeding him the right stuff, if I am spoiling him to much....
This is not to say that I would trade this for anything in the world.
Just to say that I am having a harder time adjusting to this new life than I ever anticipated.
And, that this is much more work than I ever imagine.
That said, look at the joy I receive for my efforts..............
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